Have you ever consider, the love one of yours just pass through you and didnt even notice that you're just few millimetres away from him? Well, I basically felt like a piece of glass and no one can see me!! I've got shits from school and trying to be ok! I've got shit from relationship, I've to act like I'm ok in school! It's so difficult being a human in this world.. I don't want my emotions to interfere my school life and love life... why is it so difficult to act in front of people!!

I don't want to act sad in front of my family so they will not be worry.. I also cannot act weak in front of my friends.. especially those bitches, they will laugh their ass off! No matter what I've come across I need to act to be 2 faces people! Is it that difficult to be yourself for once? Is it so difficult to be the person who u want to be? Be free? be stupid? be smart? be selfish? and be loved?

Schoolmates consider me as the happiest person ever.. Everyday going back to college with the same route and same routine every morning.. I have to put great smile on my face.. A big one no matter what happen to my day! I have to act in front of them.. Feeling wanna find counselor, but the record will be recorded into my files, it might shown to parents or maybe spread around the school even the teachers said that it's confidential.. Trust me, I've heard some news already! There's seriously no one that you can really relay on! Even parents! You tell them, they start to get worry or maybe overeacted and wanna help you to solve ur problems by searching for the person! In this way, everyone will obviously know!

Who to relay on?? The love of my life? Well, I don't think so.. He can be the best keeper and listener... but can he be there for me forever? With my attitude and all the things I've done, I don't think he'll even glance at me... I've just got one.. ( few mins ago..) People like me, who to turn too? when you have no friends? A friend is all around you, but the ones there's actually there for you are none currently... =( * not basically no one, but everyone's busy * who would want a call from you and come crying to you when you have a great day? isn't that destroying your mood?

Sometimes, I really do envy people who have brothers or sisters or my parents where everytime, one of my parents have problems, there are there for each other.. But who is here for me? I really wish I can grow up right now or maybe leave here.... Sometimes being alone is the best, but too alone is the worst..

I have too much in my mind right now! Who can I trust? No one.. some husband and wife also betray each other or maybe ended up divorce or something... Who the hell in the world can you trust again? WHO? GOd? I really hope so!! I really wish I can communicate with my god right now to tell him everything! At least he'll keep everything and really know what's going on with my life! How? WHo?

I really need someone to talk to right now! whoever out there who know my phone number, if you're willing to call me at least u can cheer me up, Don't worry phone is 24/7 on! only valid till midnight- 23.01.2011... HAHAHA Nah just joking but honestly, I really need someone to put a smile on my face!

lastly: Mummy wanna surprised me something! I basically used my butt to think and find out the truth! But I was actually suppose to be happy, but to me right now, it's useless and probably just a memory and I wish it will never happen and never have known! it's just a wonderful memory that I will be really sad and leave a huge scar on my chest...

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